Why I don't date...
This is old, but I didn't realize that I didn't post it here.
Angry growl that is. Okay, so last night I went back to the karaoke bar. I'm still much to self concious to do slow songs, but I try to do 1 or 2 a night anyway. This time, my head voice was okay, but not as in tune as I would have liked. But there's a reason - I was nervous. But not the usual nervous. Allow me to explain:
There was a really cute guy shooting pool. I looked at him. He looked at me. He sang Motley Cru....BADLY....like ear bleeding badly. Then he sang Prestly...REALLY BADLY. Not quite as Motley Cru badly, but a close second.
So, I'm like 'yikes'. But, okay. He's having fun.
He comes over to me(I'm sitting in one of the easy chairs they have) gets nose to nose with me, so now I'm pressed all the way back and starts doing the hi, my name is thing. Introduction. Sort of...
Him: Hi my name is B. What's yours.
Me: Niki
B: You single?
N: Yea
B: Really?
N: Yea
B: No way.
N:(Exasperated) Yea
B: Cuz. You're hot
N: Thanks
B: Can I have your phone number?
N: No.
You're hot, can I have your phone number? Damn! But wait, it gets better. I'm still in the easy chair, he's sitting at a table nearby
B: What song do you want me to sing?
N: I don't care just have fun.
This confused the hell out of him.
B: Don't you have a preference?
N: Not really. Just pick something
More confusion.
(Announcer Voice): But, wait, there's more - for just 4 hours of your time, I can completely terrify you -
A woman, who's name I can't recall, comes up and sings the twist - so a bunch of us are twisting.
B: Can I dance with you?
N: Sure
B: No way you just said yes
N: Yup, I just said yes
B: Really? I can dance with you?
N: Not if you dont' start dancing with me
So we dance, turns and all. He's a good dancer.
(During the dance)
B: You're so soft
(I was wearing a pettable shirt)
N: Thanks
B: It feels like I'm in a dream.
I rolled my eyes, but he didn't see it.
We sit down and he sits next to me - in the easy chair- uninvited.
*Grump*
B: Can I get you a drink?
N: No thanks
B: No really what are you drinking?
N: I'm not
B: But you have to drink something. I"m getting you a water.
*grump*
He comes back with water in a cup. I sipped it, but only later - when I'd made friends, with someone else. Okay, so thus far, I'm sure you're like - he sounds nice. But I haven't told you the good stuff yet!
B: You're really good looking.
N: Thanks
B: Why are you single?
N: Because I don't have time for a boyfriend
B: Then why won't you give me your number
N: Because I don't have time for a boyfriend.
B: How about a friend?
N: We'll see.
B: I"m a nice guy. You're really going to regret not taking me up on this because I'm a nice guy. I have a good paying job, I have a house and I'm really into Harleys.
N: Ok
B: Do you know how hard it is to find a nice guy, whos' good looking and has a good job?
N: Yes.
B: Then why won't you give me your number?
N: Because I work and go to school full time, plus I teach dance, fence, and play in a band. I dont' have time.
B: You teach dance? What kind of lame gay fairy's are you meeting there? They're poofters! What the hell is wrong with you, dancing with those guys?
N: (good way to impress a chick - on his planet maybe) They're not ALL gay
B: Yes, they are. You just don't know how to tell a gay guy.
N: I live near Philly. I have a lot of gay friends. I can tell.
B: Why the F*&k would a straight guy dance?
N: Why do you dance?
B:
N: Because it gets the girls. Same reason you do it.
(at this point, you can consider me done with the conversation)... but he didn't -
B: Do you think I'm attractive?
N: Yes.
B: Well I think you're attractive, so there you go. We're both attracticve, we should be together.
N: No.
B: But why?
N: I don't have time for a boyfriend
B: I'd make time for you
N: I don't want you to
B: I'm from Virginia
N: Ok
B: Isn't it funny that it's my first time here and I meet you?
N: (thought: my dumb luck)
B: Do you live around here?
N: Yea
B: I'm moving here
N: Okay
B: So what do you do?
N: Human Resources
B: Like DHS?
N: (okay nothing like DHS but still...) yea
B: That's good. Guess what I do
N: (thought: clean cut, tattoos that can be covered, dresses like a dork, and no social graces) An accountant?
B: NO
N: I give up
B: I"m better than that
N: Marketing?
B: No.
N: Management?
B: No.
N: I give up
B: I'm a master mechanic. AND i'm a maitenance guy. So if you ever need anythign in your house fixed, you can call me.
N: No thanks. I have someone who helps me with that.
B: Why are you giving me the brush off?
N: You'll know when I'm giving you the brush off. Right now I'm just not interested in talking. You'll know when I'm brushing you off.
Pause to listen to J sing.
B: Have you ever dated before?
N: Yes. And been engaged twice.
B: Oh? Why didn't it work out?
N: (ad lib lie here)
B: Oh. (And he feeds me a song and dance about havign been in the same situation, only he was married.)
At this point, I start mouthing help me, to onlooking (sympathetically) women.
B: So, can I have your number?
N: NO
B: Why?
N: Because i don't want to date right now.
B: (hurt) I came here to find somebody. I've been so lost and alone,and I need someone to fill my heart with their love.
N: (giggling - I know it's mean, but I couldn't hold a straight face)
B: Why are you laughing at me?
N: I'm not that person. I'm not going to give you my number. I don't want to date. I work to hard, to put another obligation in there. If you are here to find somebody, look somewhere else. There are plenty of other single girls here. Go talk to them.
Was that unclear in any way? Did that lead him on? I thought that was blunt enough. Way beyond a clue by four into a two by four...
B: You need to enjoy your life. You should give me your phone number.
N: No.
B: You're going to regret it.
N: I doubt it.
B: You're going to have a day where you're bored, and you're going to want to go to a movie and you're not going to have anyone to go with.
N: oh no. Not that. Anything but enjoying alone time.
B: What?
N: I haven't been to a movie in years.
B: YOu have to enjoy life
N: I do enjoy life
B: No you don't
N: YES, I DO
B: But you're single. You can't be happy single.
N: I LIKE BEING SINGLE
B: No you don't
At this point, I'm ready to punch him.
N: In fact, I do.
B: What the F**k is wrong with you? You must have F**king mental problems. You've got something f**king wrong upstairs. How could you LIKE being single. Nobody LIKES being single.
N: I do.
B: Your f**ed up.
He storms off. And I meet the core group of people. And they're nice to me. And ask me if he and I are dating and I"m like NO! And I tell them whats going on. And they actually help me out. It was nice. Very nice.
He comes back, sits (now alone) in the easy chair and angrily stares at me. STALKER
Then he takes off his tee shirt to reveal a muscle shirt and asks me to watch his shirt. I let him put it down and ignored it completely.
Then he sits down at the table and starts flirting with the other girls, looking at me, trying to get me jealous. LOL! Wow, did he pick the wrong girl to try to envoke jealousy out of.
*sigh*
THEN he does the most appallign thing.
There is a sweetheart of a girl there. M. M has some sort of physical and mental retardation. Not down syndrome, but a similar look. She's SUCH a sweetheart. She asked me, if B could keep her company. I was about to say sure when C steps in and says that he and I are dating and that she could sit here, but he couldnt' sit there. (I was upset and annoyed, but then again, I didn't want him hitting on her). So she asked if both of us could sit on the couch. I was like, okay. But C said that M gets funny sometimes that that it was best she sit at the table.
Well as people started to leave, M got closer to B and I. I was fine with this. SHe and I talked, and she told me she found him very handsome, and asked if she could tell him.
I was like sure.
She taps him on ths shoulder. He looks over and sees that it's not me, and ignores her. I kick him, HARD, under the table. He glares at me and then turns to her. She tells him he's very good looking. And he snickers a thanks and turns back to the cute girls.
M looks hurt and confused. She sits back down next to me, and I tell her that it was a very nice thing she did,a nd that I"m sure it made him feel very good. She called me pretty too, and I replied in kind. She beamed. Then she said, 'you know it's not right that he's talking to those girls. he should be talking to you.' I told her it was okay, and then she got up to sing.
How hard is it to be nice to a girl who's being nice to you? What a prick!
He waited for me by the door at the end of the night. I went past when he wasn't looking and scooted out of there.
Will I go back? Sure. Will I talk to him. No. Geez. Frelling freak!
Angry growl that is. Okay, so last night I went back to the karaoke bar. I'm still much to self concious to do slow songs, but I try to do 1 or 2 a night anyway. This time, my head voice was okay, but not as in tune as I would have liked. But there's a reason - I was nervous. But not the usual nervous. Allow me to explain:
There was a really cute guy shooting pool. I looked at him. He looked at me. He sang Motley Cru....BADLY....like ear bleeding badly. Then he sang Prestly...REALLY BADLY. Not quite as Motley Cru badly, but a close second.
So, I'm like 'yikes'. But, okay. He's having fun.
He comes over to me(I'm sitting in one of the easy chairs they have) gets nose to nose with me, so now I'm pressed all the way back and starts doing the hi, my name is thing. Introduction. Sort of...
Him: Hi my name is B. What's yours.
Me: Niki
B: You single?
N: Yea
B: Really?
N: Yea
B: No way.
N:(Exasperated) Yea
B: Cuz. You're hot
N: Thanks
B: Can I have your phone number?
N: No.
You're hot, can I have your phone number? Damn! But wait, it gets better. I'm still in the easy chair, he's sitting at a table nearby
B: What song do you want me to sing?
N: I don't care just have fun.
This confused the hell out of him.
B: Don't you have a preference?
N: Not really. Just pick something
More confusion.
(Announcer Voice): But, wait, there's more - for just 4 hours of your time, I can completely terrify you -
A woman, who's name I can't recall, comes up and sings the twist - so a bunch of us are twisting.
B: Can I dance with you?
N: Sure
B: No way you just said yes
N: Yup, I just said yes
B: Really? I can dance with you?
N: Not if you dont' start dancing with me
So we dance, turns and all. He's a good dancer.
(During the dance)
B: You're so soft
(I was wearing a pettable shirt)
N: Thanks
B: It feels like I'm in a dream.
I rolled my eyes, but he didn't see it.
We sit down and he sits next to me - in the easy chair- uninvited.
*Grump*
B: Can I get you a drink?
N: No thanks
B: No really what are you drinking?
N: I'm not
B: But you have to drink something. I"m getting you a water.
*grump*
He comes back with water in a cup. I sipped it, but only later - when I'd made friends, with someone else. Okay, so thus far, I'm sure you're like - he sounds nice. But I haven't told you the good stuff yet!
B: You're really good looking.
N: Thanks
B: Why are you single?
N: Because I don't have time for a boyfriend
B: Then why won't you give me your number
N: Because I don't have time for a boyfriend.
B: How about a friend?
N: We'll see.
B: I"m a nice guy. You're really going to regret not taking me up on this because I'm a nice guy. I have a good paying job, I have a house and I'm really into Harleys.
N: Ok
B: Do you know how hard it is to find a nice guy, whos' good looking and has a good job?
N: Yes.
B: Then why won't you give me your number?
N: Because I work and go to school full time, plus I teach dance, fence, and play in a band. I dont' have time.
B: You teach dance? What kind of lame gay fairy's are you meeting there? They're poofters! What the hell is wrong with you, dancing with those guys?
N: (good way to impress a chick - on his planet maybe) They're not ALL gay
B: Yes, they are. You just don't know how to tell a gay guy.
N: I live near Philly. I have a lot of gay friends. I can tell.
B: Why the F*&k would a straight guy dance?
N: Why do you dance?
B:
N: Because it gets the girls. Same reason you do it.
(at this point, you can consider me done with the conversation)... but he didn't -
B: Do you think I'm attractive?
N: Yes.
B: Well I think you're attractive, so there you go. We're both attracticve, we should be together.
N: No.
B: But why?
N: I don't have time for a boyfriend
B: I'd make time for you
N: I don't want you to
B: I'm from Virginia
N: Ok
B: Isn't it funny that it's my first time here and I meet you?
N: (thought: my dumb luck)
B: Do you live around here?
N: Yea
B: I'm moving here
N: Okay
B: So what do you do?
N: Human Resources
B: Like DHS?
N: (okay nothing like DHS but still...) yea
B: That's good. Guess what I do
N: (thought: clean cut, tattoos that can be covered, dresses like a dork, and no social graces) An accountant?
B: NO
N: I give up
B: I"m better than that
N: Marketing?
B: No.
N: Management?
B: No.
N: I give up
B: I'm a master mechanic. AND i'm a maitenance guy. So if you ever need anythign in your house fixed, you can call me.
N: No thanks. I have someone who helps me with that.
B: Why are you giving me the brush off?
N: You'll know when I'm giving you the brush off. Right now I'm just not interested in talking. You'll know when I'm brushing you off.
Pause to listen to J sing.
B: Have you ever dated before?
N: Yes. And been engaged twice.
B: Oh? Why didn't it work out?
N: (ad lib lie here)
B: Oh. (And he feeds me a song and dance about havign been in the same situation, only he was married.)
At this point, I start mouthing help me, to onlooking (sympathetically) women.
B: So, can I have your number?
N: NO
B: Why?
N: Because i don't want to date right now.
B: (hurt) I came here to find somebody. I've been so lost and alone,and I need someone to fill my heart with their love.
N: (giggling - I know it's mean, but I couldn't hold a straight face)
B: Why are you laughing at me?
N: I'm not that person. I'm not going to give you my number. I don't want to date. I work to hard, to put another obligation in there. If you are here to find somebody, look somewhere else. There are plenty of other single girls here. Go talk to them.
Was that unclear in any way? Did that lead him on? I thought that was blunt enough. Way beyond a clue by four into a two by four...
B: You need to enjoy your life. You should give me your phone number.
N: No.
B: You're going to regret it.
N: I doubt it.
B: You're going to have a day where you're bored, and you're going to want to go to a movie and you're not going to have anyone to go with.
N: oh no. Not that. Anything but enjoying alone time.
B: What?
N: I haven't been to a movie in years.
B: YOu have to enjoy life
N: I do enjoy life
B: No you don't
N: YES, I DO
B: But you're single. You can't be happy single.
N: I LIKE BEING SINGLE
B: No you don't
At this point, I'm ready to punch him.
N: In fact, I do.
B: What the F**k is wrong with you? You must have F**king mental problems. You've got something f**king wrong upstairs. How could you LIKE being single. Nobody LIKES being single.
N: I do.
B: Your f**ed up.
He storms off. And I meet the core group of people. And they're nice to me. And ask me if he and I are dating and I"m like NO! And I tell them whats going on. And they actually help me out. It was nice. Very nice.
He comes back, sits (now alone) in the easy chair and angrily stares at me. STALKER
Then he takes off his tee shirt to reveal a muscle shirt and asks me to watch his shirt. I let him put it down and ignored it completely.
Then he sits down at the table and starts flirting with the other girls, looking at me, trying to get me jealous. LOL! Wow, did he pick the wrong girl to try to envoke jealousy out of.
*sigh*
THEN he does the most appallign thing.
There is a sweetheart of a girl there. M. M has some sort of physical and mental retardation. Not down syndrome, but a similar look. She's SUCH a sweetheart. She asked me, if B could keep her company. I was about to say sure when C steps in and says that he and I are dating and that she could sit here, but he couldnt' sit there. (I was upset and annoyed, but then again, I didn't want him hitting on her). So she asked if both of us could sit on the couch. I was like, okay. But C said that M gets funny sometimes that that it was best she sit at the table.
Well as people started to leave, M got closer to B and I. I was fine with this. SHe and I talked, and she told me she found him very handsome, and asked if she could tell him.
I was like sure.
She taps him on ths shoulder. He looks over and sees that it's not me, and ignores her. I kick him, HARD, under the table. He glares at me and then turns to her. She tells him he's very good looking. And he snickers a thanks and turns back to the cute girls.
M looks hurt and confused. She sits back down next to me, and I tell her that it was a very nice thing she did,a nd that I"m sure it made him feel very good. She called me pretty too, and I replied in kind. She beamed. Then she said, 'you know it's not right that he's talking to those girls. he should be talking to you.' I told her it was okay, and then she got up to sing.
How hard is it to be nice to a girl who's being nice to you? What a prick!
He waited for me by the door at the end of the night. I went past when he wasn't looking and scooted out of there.
Will I go back? Sure. Will I talk to him. No. Geez. Frelling freak!
posted by Niki at 9:26 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home